Oh hi there!
Ok so the fact that I haven’t posted on the blog for about 6 months is
probably a good indication of how my life has been lately – busy busy! If it’s any consolation I have blogged loads
in my head – just not managed to sit down and actually post anything. Is there such a thing as bloggers block? So anyways, the boys are now 14 months old
{where did that go ey?} and I finally feel like I’m ready to get back on track
with my tales of a wanna-be perfect housewife {a life twintastic} J
So let’s catch up and go back to April 2015 where
our new little family has just been discharged from hospital – eeek!
Ok, so long story short the routine we had
going in hospital pretty much went to pot as soon as we stepped through our
front door. Doh!
The babies would still feed roughly every 3 hours
most the day and nap in between but then any time after 4pm they
would become really unsettled, cry {and cry, and cry}, then fed every 1-2 hours
until morning. We ended up co-sleeping
with the babies on our bed – something we felt very anxious about, even after
talking through with my midwife about how to make it safer. To this day Mr H will still wake up in the
night in a panic and check if there’s a baby on the bed we've forgotten
about! At first I tried to stay awake
all night watching back to back episodes of Family Guy then try to catch an
hour or so of sleep here and there during the day between feeds. But
then sheer exhaustion caught up with me.
We ended up co-sleeping until we managed to get them to settle
for at least part of the night in their moses baskets when they were about 5
weeks old.
In the morning it was an achievement
just to get out of bed. It felt like I
was constantly covered in babies in a cycle of feeding, changing and cat
napping. Mr H would bring up a breakfast
tray and I’d make sure I got showered and dressed {which by the way I can now
do in like 10 mins} every morning whilst he took over baby duty. We would then all eventually migrate
downstairs with the babies in their moses baskets. During the day we’d get back into our 3
hourly feed routine {still breast feeding then topping up with a cup of
expressed milk at this point} and at night I’d breast feed on demand. If they woke up I fed them. The don’t call it a milk coma for
nothing! I kept a record of feeds in a
notebook and fed them on average 12 times a day. Each!
 |
| My life with newborn twins! |
Being a new mum is hands down the most amazing but
hardest thing I have ever experienced. I
had no idea what I was doing. I was
Tired {exhausted} and at times it felt like all they would do is cry and
I found that pretty soul destroying. I
didn’t know why they were crying. I was
waiting for my mummy instincts to kick in but no, nadda, nothing. I was stressed and anxious. My friends and family would offer to take the
babies out for a walk so I could rest but I was too anxious to let them out of
my sight and I’d literally hear them crying up the road and feel sick to my
stomach.
Mr H went back to work when the boys were 3 weeks
old and my anxiety levels peaked. I was
home alone with the babies for the first time from anytime between 6 and 9am
until ~11pm. I’d be on the sofa
with them asleep on me and I'd just sit there for hours. I was constantly on google or messaging other
new mummy friends for advice and comfort {oh hey Rose and my twin mummy pals!}
. Looking back now I’d like to think I’d
be able to read their signs a bit better but at the time I didn’t have a
clue. It became a very lonely place to
be.
Luckily I have a very loving network of friends and
family. My mum {aka super mum!} took
charge and made sure someone was with me to help out, hold a baby or just be
there for at least part of the day every day whilst Mr H was working. I would still get very anxious and upset but
knowing someone would be with me at some point during the day helped more than
anyone could ever know. This is
something I will be eternally grateful for!
I had some really dark days and you may be thinking – classic case
of post-natal depression – which it may well have been. Or it may have just been the fact that being
a new mummy was bloomin hard!! The fact
that I found it so hard was a complete shock and in a way that was the
most upsetting thing. Looking back at
photos I look like I’m on a totally different planet! I loved these two little beings more than
words can express but they were still also so alien to me. Becoming a parent is life changing. It’s 24/7.
It’s not all doom and gloom obviously but I have no shame in being
honest about how hard I found those early weeks and months.
As the weeks went on things slowly improved and my
confidence grew. 12 weeks was a real turning point for us. We’d still have really tough days and I still
suffered from almost crippling anxiety but we were now getting into our
groove and starting to get to know each other. The mummy instincts finally started to make
an appearance {it was about time!} and I was enjoying my babies J People
often ask me how do you do it? But the
reality is that, as with a lot of things, it’s hard but you just have to get on with it as best you can. Even now when the boys are
14 months I get anxious but the good definitely out ways the bad and we're lucky
to have two pretty awesome little dudes J
One of the main things that really helped me was
routine. There are a lot of pros and
cons when it comes to this matter and everyone has their own opinions but for
me it gave me the structure and stability I needed so very badly and I
think it has made my babies happier and more settled {more on routines coming
soon}.
Other things which helped was the realisation that
our babies suffered from reflux and establishing a good nap
and bedtime routine {more on bedtime routine coming soon}.
Top tips for new mummies:
-
Try to get washed and dressed every day. You will feel so much better for it!
- Ask for and listen to advice but then make up your own
mind - ultimately you know what's best for you and your babies
-
Get out of the house every day before you go
insane! Even if it's a 10 minute stroll
around the block in your pjs!
- Accept help and lower your housework
standards. You may be super mum but trying to do everything including
keeping the house up to pre-baby standards is likely to be a losing
battle without a little help. I think that our home is now much more homely and
welcoming since the babies arrived.
- Befriend other new mummy friends. I was lucky that I was pregnant at the same
time as one of my closest friends {hey sweetcorn} and we ended up having our
babies a day apart. 3am messages were
pretty much the norm! I also joined a
twins club and this was one of the best things I’ve done simply because, as you
can imagine, having multiples brings its own set of challenges and I found it
really helpful and reassuring having a network other twin mums to talk to J
-
I googled pretty much everything early on. Sometimes it was helpful but probably more
often than not it wasn’t.
-
On that note – don’t be afraid of calling your
midwife/health visitor/doctor for advice!
- Make sure you have your essentials close at
hand. Being stuck on the sofa covered in
sleeping babies with the tv remote just out of reach and knowing there is a
giant bar of galaxy sat on the kitchen work surface is not fun.
- Remember to look after yourself! Eat, drink, sleep.
Sounds basic but you'd be surprised how quickly they go out the window with a
newborn in the house! Accept all offers of food and stock up on microwave
meals. You can worry about losing the baby weight later!
- Everything is for a time and a season. Babies change so quickly and the round the
clock feeds, the sleepless nights and all that comes with it won’t last
forever. The challenges that come with
parenthood may change but ultimately what you're struggling with right now
you’ll probably have forgotten about in a few months!
Top buy:
-
Buggy. Your buggy will become your new best friend so it’s
important to buy the right one for you. The research is worth it!
We bought an iCandy pear from friends of ours who
also have twin boys which was ideal! This was a ‘front and back’ buggy {as opposed
to a side by side} which came with two flat pram inserts and two seat inserts
plus had adaptors to fit two maxi-cosi car seats and make a travel system. The base folded down small enough to fit in
my tiny boot. The large basket was really and inflated tyres meant we could pretty much
take it anywhere J
We used this buggy for a good year before
deciding to buy a side by side Joie Twin Aire as the twins had outgrown
their car seats making the travel system redundant and I wanted something
lighter and thought the boys would enjoy being side by side more now that they
were older. And I love it!
